I've been thinking about it a lot lately, "We live in a snapshot society." Every time there's a controversial coaching moment, it's blasted all over social media. "They should be fired!" "Kids today are just soft!" A Twitter bot may chime in every once in a while, reminding us to tune into live coverage of the JV water polo game (if you're a HS coach, you know what I'm talking about...). The tendency to evaluate coaches based on real-life snapshot moments has spread too. Coaches can get crushed because of a moment's lapse in judgment or loss of control. It's easy to say this isn't fair. It probably isn't. Maybe it seems like there’s a threat in every moment of coaching, but I think it's important to consider another perspective. There’s an opportunity.
There is incredible power potential, opportunity, in every moment a coach has to impact those they coach, particularly young people, for the rest of their lives. It's been said, after all, that coaches are the most important factor in how a young person views their athletic experience. While we'd love for all athletes to be so incredibly intrinsically motivated and emotionally intelligent that a negative coaching experience doesn't matter, it's unrealistic. Others may emphasize, "Just focus on the message," which can be helpful advice. But the delivery does matter. It matters today, and it's always mattered to coaches who want to be as effective as possible. Also vital to consider is that in every HS athlete-coach interaction there's one adult and one kid, one professional and one amateur. To put the burden entirely on the amateur kid as a communicator is ineffective and unfair.
So, what can we do? In general, I'm not a fan of either-or logic, but in this case I think it may fit. There could be two camps of coaches moving forward. One camp will complain about the environment of coaching today. They'll pine for years past, back in the day, when you could do whatever you want, say whatever you want, because, "Coach is always right," because "It's just coaching," because, "I'm just teaching your kid about the real world." No, the coach isn't always right, and that's okay. Just coaching is pretty often just bad coaching. But we can improve. Yes, the real world may have bullies, but your coach shouldn't be one. These coaches may make themselves feel better with “kids today” logic, but I’m not sure how effective they will be.
Another camp of coaches will improve- they’ll find the opportunity. They'll accept the challenges of coaching today and realize building an environment of trust that values athletes as people will give them some brevity to not be perfect. But they'll also strive to be better. To be better at purposeful communication that constructively criticizes behavior rather than attacking the person. To be better at emotional control to minimize or eliminate moments that get away from them. Fortunately, there are people and resources that can help coaches with both. I know which camp of coaches I'd prefer to be included in and coached by, and I have a feeling I know which kids and parents today would choose as well. The opportunity is there.
- Ben
